Cocoon

The sci-fi elements take a back seat to an optimistic and rather pleasant story about rediscovering youth...and that's it. Cocoon offers little more than science fiction clichés, formulaic feel good/weepy sections and elements from a million other films. Despite my parents advice that I should watch it when it was released, I refused, because I could spot the naff-ness a mile away...children are much more perceptive than adults it would seem.

Gremlins

Although many of the scenes featuring Gizmo are thick with the cute factor, and some of the creature effects seem unwieldy when compared to today's efforts, Gremlins has stood the test of time, still providing laughter of the very blackest kind. Truly obnoxious characters get their comeuppance, hapless heroes try to save the day and the diminutive green stars stand in the middle, picking their noses.

Lilo and Stitch

As a Disney film with an original storyline, this looked promising and didn't completely disappoint. Sadly, Stitch's more than passing resemblance to a Gremlin stands out in a swollen red thumb of plagiarism, and it typically descends into Disney by numbers. There are, however some well sketched characters, the masterstroke being that many of them are believably dysfunctional. That it attempts to step away from the tried and tested Disney formula does this film credit, but it doesn't go far enough to be anything other than average.

Human Nature

A comedy about impulses, sex, civilisation and what it is to be civilised, which is more cynical than profound. The interplay of the main characters, their motivation and background is inspired, the cast brilliant, but what it lacks is a final unification to elevate it above the level of a sophisticated romp. You'll laugh, wince and maybe even cry, but perhaps you'll leave with the impression of having missed something.

Muppets from Space

The late Jim Henson is a hard act to follow. Recent Muppet movies have been souless affairs, and this is no exception. Love them though I do, the characters don't translate well into plot driven scenarios and should probably be laid to rest. Efforts to modernise them with Yeah's, Woo's & funky music form a schism between classic characters and the Nu-Muppetz, which can possibly only be resolved through civil war.

Silent Hill

The computer game, released on the old playstation, was a masterpiece of horror, a chilling, atmospheric, heart-wrenchingly terrifying experience. Obvious attempts to recreate this mood are apparent, but simply don't work. Perhaps the main problem is that it's too dark to see what we're supposed to be scared of - we know something nasty is approaching because there's screaming & evil music, but we can't see it and the scene cuts are too numerous to even try. This ties in with another problem of adapting a computer game to the screen - the sense of personal interaction is completely lost, so Silent Hill becomes just another horror film. The Witch Burning scene is too reminiscent of Monty Python to be anything other than funny, and that the climax turns into Hellraiser is unforgiveable.

The Little Mermaid

A remarkable film, in that it manages to cram everything I hate about Disney into a single feature - schamltz, laboured and unfunny comedy, characters we've seen in a million incarnations in every other opus and those agonising songs. However, what sickens me about Disney is that which has made it successful. Perhaps the scorn of a man like me is the best possible review a Disney film can get.